You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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