If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
