mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
