4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
