Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
