i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Sober January is a disaster.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
