If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
