I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
