bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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