Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
