He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
