if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
