Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
