He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
