I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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