I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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