Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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