is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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