well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
