he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
