Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
