So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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