it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
