OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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