You just made me feel so damn special
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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