She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
