Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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