I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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