First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
