I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
