You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
