Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
