i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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