Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
