we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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