I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
