susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dignity is for republicans.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
