Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It's shark week go big or go home
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
