Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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