So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
