Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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