yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
