And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
