last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
