sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
