He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
