Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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