Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
