Buhtt sex?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
