you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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