Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
