she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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