apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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