i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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